Ходжа Н. (hojja_nusreddin) wrote,
Ходжа Н.
hojja_nusreddin

Руми, Диван Шамса Тебризи, # 0441 "Жажда" (liberal translation by Nader Khalili)

1
Show me your face, I crave flowers and gardens,
Open your lips, I crave the taste of honey come out.
2
From behind the clouds I desire a sunny face.
4
Your voice echoed saying: "Leave me alone!"
I wish to hear your voice again saying: "Leave me alone!"
9
I swear this city without You is a prison,
I am dying to get out to roam in deserts and mountains.
10
I am tired of flimsy friends and submissive companions
I die to walk with the brave.
12
I am blue of hearing nagging voices and meek cries.
I desire loud music, drunken parties and wild dance.
20
One hand holding a cup of wine, one hand caressing your hair,
Then dancing in orbital circle. that is what I yearn for.
13
I can sing better than any nightingale, but because of this city's freaks,
I seal my lips, while my heart weeps.
14
Yesterday the wisest man holding a lit lantern in daylight, was searching around town
Saying: "I am tired of all these beasts and brutes; I seek a true human."
15
We have all looked for one but no one could be found, they said.
He replied: "But my search is for the One, Who cannot be found".



Remarks by Sergey Sechiv:

Missed beits: 3, 5, 6, 7, 8, 11, 16, 17, 18, 19, 21, 22, 23, 24 (total 14 of 24).
Missed half-beits: 2.2
Misplaced beits: 20
Essentially altered meaning beits: 2 (missed 2-nd part), 10 (missed Ali & Rustam), 13 (missed envy),
Slightly altered meaning beits: 1 (sugar/honey), 4 (missed “trouble me no more”), 12 (inserted dances), 14 (devil replaced by brute)

___________________________________________
Nader Khalili, “Rumi, Fountain of Fire”, Cal-Earth, 1994

Критическая текстолухия: параллельные английские и русские переводы
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http://hojja-nusreddin.livejournal.com/2681616.html
Tags: divan, rumi, диван, жажда, литерадуроведение, перевод, руми, шамс
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