Ходжа Н. (hojja_nusreddin) wrote,
Ходжа Н.
hojja_nusreddin

Neologizmos :)

the winning submissions from a Washington Post neologism contest, in which readers are asked to supply alternative meanings for common words.

Coffee: the person upon whom one coughs.

Flabbergasted: appalled over how much weight you have gained.

Abdicate: to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.

Esplanade: to attempt an explanation while drunk.

Willy-nilly: impotent.

Negligent: describes a condition in which you absentmindedly answer the door in your nightgown.

Lymph: to walk with a lisp.

Gargoyle: olive-flavored mouthwash.

Flatulence: emergency vehicle that picks you up after you are run over by a steamroller.

Balderdash: a rapidly receding hairline.

Testicle: a humorous question on an exam.

Rectitude: the formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists.

Pokemon: a Rastafarian proctologist.

Frisbeetarianism: The belief that, when you die, your soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there.
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The Washington Post's Style Invitational also asked readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition.

Bozone: The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.

Foreploy: Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid.

Cashtration: The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period.

Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.

Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.

Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.

Hipatitis: Terminal coolness.

Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)

Karmageddon: it's like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a serious bummer.

Decafalon: The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.

Glibido: All talk and no action.

Dopeler effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.

Arachnoleptic fit: The frantic dance performed just after you've accidentally walked through a spider web.

Beelzebug: Satan in the form of a mosquito that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.

Caterpallor: The color you turn after finding half a grub in the fruit you're eating.

And my personal pick:

Ignoranus: A person who's both stupid and an asshole.


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The original posting was made at http://hojja-nusreddin.dreamwidth.org/100378.html
Tags: english
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